RULES :-)

THE WAY OF THE STOCKYARD

(NEW REVISED ’98 VERSION, 2004, 2009)

  1. KEEP YOUR FORK.
  2. IF YOU HAVE A FORK, YOU DON’T NEED A SPOON TO STIR YOUR COFFEE.
  3. DON’T EXPECT ICE. WE DON’T HAVE ANY.
  4. PAY ATTENTION.
  5. LICK YOUR FORK CLEAN, MAKES IT EASIER TO WASH.
  6. IF YOU ARE NEAR THE PHONE WHEN IT RINGS, ANSWER IT AND THE CALLER’S QUESTION.
  7. KILL OR REMOVE ANTS CRAWLING ON THE COUNTER.
  8. PLEASE FIND YOUR OWN CONDIMENTS OR ASK YOUR NEIGHBOR TO PASS IT DOWN.
  9. PUT LIDS BACK ON YOUR CONDIMENTS.
  10. MOVE DOWN WHEN PEOPLE NEED A SEAT. SAVING SEATS IS UNLAWFUL WHEN OTHERS NEED THEM NOW.
  11. PUT $ OUT ON THE COUNTER EDGE WHEN YOU ARE READY TO HIT THE ROAD JACK.
  12. READ THE HOURS ON THE DOOR. PLEASE DON’T ASK WHAT WE DO ON THE OTHER DAYS.
  13. EXPECT TO HELP OUT WHEN ASKED.
  14. WE CAN’T POACH EGGS. WE CAN DO THEM OVER OR SCRAMBLED OR UP, AND WE DON’T MAKE PROMISES ABOUT THEM. YOU TRY COOKING ON THAT ANCIENT THING.
  15. USE ALL THE SYRUP OR KETCHUP YOU SQUIRT ON YOUR PLATE.
  16. IF YOU ASK “WHATS GOOD?”….EXCPECT A SMART REMARK, BUT OFTEN WE ARE OUT OF SMART REMARKS.
  17. CLEAN YOUR PLATE. DON’T HAVE TO CUZ THE CHICKENS WILL EAT WHAT YOU DON’T.
  18. SAVE ROOM FOR DESSERT.
  19. IF YOUR FOOD HAS ARRIVED, YOUR FRIENDS FOOD WILL FOLLOW.
  20. EAT IT WHILE IT’S HOT.
  21. REGRETFULLY, WE ARE NOT A VISITOR CENTER AND INCIDENTALLY I CAN NOT BE YOUR TOUR GUIDE. YOU’LL FIGURE IT OUT.
  22. KEEP FINDING IT AT THE ORIGINAL STOCKYARD CAFE.